Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 17th August 2003

Dilbert//5237, first published 23 years ago on Sunday 17th August 2003

Tags

netwrok security buggy complicated user guide pure evil tech support dept chimp with typewriter strategy victims hair quiver consultants paid by hour

Official transcript

"Dogbert Consults."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

DOGBERT CONSULTS YOUR NETWORK- SECURITY PRODUCT IS BUGGY AND COMPLICATED.

YOUR USER GUIDE IS AN INSPIRED WORK OF PURE EVIL.

AND YOUR TECH- SUPPORT DEPARTMENT IS AN INEBRIATED CHIMPANZEE WITH A TYPEWRITER.

ONE STRATEGY WOULD BE TO FIX ALL OF THOSE PROBLEMS.

SELL CONSULTING SERVICES TO YOUR VICTIMS... I MEAN CUSTOMERS!

I'M SO HAPPY, IT'S MAKING MY HAIR QUIVER!

BUT WHAT DO WE DO WHEN OUR CONSULTANTS CAN'T MAKE OUR PRODUCTS WORK EITHER?

THEY'RE PAID BY THE HOUR.

WHAT'S THE OTHER STRATEGY?

QUIVER!!

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.