Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 6th March 2005

Dilbert//5804, first published 21 years ago on Sunday 6th March 2005

Tags

catbert evil director human resources assistant manager simialr slightly worse wouldn't be threat data base both hideous criminally insane hate cats business

Official transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I need to hire an assistant manager."

"I want someone similar to me, but slightly worse in every way."

"Worse than you??"

"Yes, but only slightly."

"The ideal candidate wouldn't be a threat to replace me."

"I'll check my database of applicants who are both hideous and criminally insane."

"I said slightly worse."

"Exactly. I found one."

"I can pretend to read in five languages."

"I hate cats."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CATBERT: EVIL DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES I NEED TO HIRE AN ASSISTANT MANAGER I WANT SOMEONE SIMILAR TO ME, BUT SLIGHTLY WORSE IN EVERY WAY.

WORSE THAN YOU???

YES, BUT ONLY SLIGHTLY.

THE IDEAL CANDIDATE WOULDN'T BE A THREAT TO REPLACE ME.

I'LL CHECK MY DATABASE OF APPLICANTS WHO ARE BOTH HIDEOUS AND CRIMINALLY INSANE.

I SAID SLIGHTLY WORSE.

EXACTLY. I FOUND ONE.

I CAN PRETEND TO READ IN FIVE LANGUAGES.

HMM.

I HATE CATS.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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