Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 10th April 2005

Dilbert//5839, first published 21 years ago on Sunday 10th April 2005

Tags

regular goals stretch goals sacrifice health personal life criminal conduct bonus salaries below budget ultra stretchy employee rights taken advantage cheat employee

Official transcript

"Here are your regular goals and here are your stretch goals."

"What's the difference?"

"The regular goals can be achieved by sacrificing health and your personal life."

"The stretch goals require all of that plus some sort of criminal conduct."

"I'm guessing that your boss gave uou the regular goals and you came up with the stretch goals on your own."

"That way, When I achieve the regular goals you'll get a raise because I missed the stretch goals."

"Then you'll get a bouns for salaries below budget."

"Maybe we should talk about the ultra-stretch goals later."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

HERE ARE YOUR REGULAR GOALS AND HERE ARE YOUR STRETCH GOALS.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

THE REGULAR GOALS CAN BE ACHIEVED BY SACRIFICING YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR PERSONAL LIFE.

THE STRETCH GOALS REQUIRE ALL OF THAT PLUS SOME SORT OF CRIMINAL CONDUCT.

I'M GUESSING THAT YOUR BOSS GAVE YOU THE REGULAR GOALS, AND YOU CAME UP WITH THE STRETCH GOALS ON YOUR OWN.

THAT WAY, WHEN I ACHIEVE THE REGULAR GOALS, YOU'LL GET A RAISE BUT I'LL GET NONE BECAUSE I MISSED THE STRETCH GOALS.

THEN YOU'LL GET A BONUS FOR KEEPING SALARIES BELOW BUDGET.

MAYBE WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THE ULTRA-STRETCHY GOALS LATER.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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