Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 21st August 2005

Dilbert//5972, first published 21 years ago on Sunday 21st August 2005

Tags

easy news cahnnel easy to gather countries want to kill u

Official transcript

"Good evening. This is the Dogbert Easy News Channel."

"We bring you all the news that's easy to gather."

"Today's top story is about something that was first reported in a newspaper and later read by me."

"People in other countries want to kill us. The rest of the article is mostly names I can't pronounce."

"We thought about asking them why they want to kill us, but they don't have phones."

"So here's the next best thing: a debate between two middle-aged white guys who also don't know why people want to kill us."

"They hate us because we are so wonderful."

"Buy my book or you will all die!"

"Next on Easy News, our panelists wll discuss dumb crooks who keep getting stuck in chimneys."

"Excellent."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

GOOD EVENING.

THIS IS THE DOGBERT EASY NEWS CHANNEL.

WE BRING YOU ALL THE NEWS THAT'S EASY TO GATHER.

TODAY'S TOP STORY IS ABOUT SOMETHING THAT WAS FIRST REPORTED IN A NEWSPAPER AND LATER READ PEOPLE IN OTHER COUNTRIES WANT TO KILL US. THE REST OF THE ARTICLE IS MOSTLY NAMES I WE THOUGHT ABOUT ASKING THEM WHY THEY WANT TO KILL US, BUT THEY DON'T HAVE PHONES.

SO HERE'S THE NEXT BEST THING: A DEBATE BETWEEN TWO MIDDLE- AGED WHITE GUYS WHO ALSO DON'T KNOW WHY PEOPLE WANT TO KILL US.

THEY HATE US BECAUSE WE ARE SO WONDERFUL.

BUY MY BOOK OR YOU WILL ALL DIE!

CAN I PRONOUNCE.

NEXT ON EASY NEWS, OUR PANELISTS WILL DISCUSS DUMB CROOKS WHO KEEP GETTING STUCK IN CHIMNEYS EXCELLENT.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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