Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 22nd October 2006

Dilbert//6399, first published twenty years ago on Sunday 22nd October 2006

Official transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Our employee onboarding process will get you all mainstreamed in no time at all."

"This will be your cubicle, if we can find another place to store this junk."

"You'll get a phone and a computer if the budget ever gets approved."

"This is Alice. She will be your mentor."

"I don't have time to babysit! I'm buried in work!"

"I do not like you. I...do...not...like you!!!"

"Stand in the hallway and read these binders. If you learn anything, forget it, because knowledge isn't rewarded here."

"Try giving up hope. It turns the bad feeling into emptiness."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CATBERT: EVIL DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES OUR EMPLOYEE ONBOARDING PROCESS WILL GET YOU ALL THIS WILL BE YOUR CUBICLE, IF WE CAN FIND ANOTHER PLACE TO STORE THIS JUNK. YOULL GET A PHONE AND A COMPUTER IF THE BUDGET THIS IS ALICE.

SHE WILL BE YOUR MENTOR.

MAINSTREAMED IN NO TIME AT ALL.

I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BABYSIT! IM BURIED IN WORK!

I DO NOT LIKE YOU.

I... DO... NOT..

LIKE YOU!!!

EVER GETS APPROVED.

STAND IN THE HALLWAY AND READ THESE BINDERS. IF YOU LEARN ANYTHING, FORGET IT, BECAUSE KNOWLEDGE ISN'T REWARDED HERE TRY GIVING UP HOPE. IT TURNS THE BAD FEELING INTO EMPTINESS.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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