Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 5th November 2006
Dilbert//6413, first published twenty years ago on Sunday 5th November 2006
Official transcript
"Today I will teach you how to use your incompetence to achieve your goals."
"Step 1: Be incompetent. (Also known as 'the easy part.')"
"Step 2: Volunteer for the most difficult and important projects"
"Step 3: Convince your boss that an enemy within the company is slowing you down."
"Step 4: Insist that competent people be pulled off of other projects to help you."
"Step 5: Declare yourself the leader of the competent people"
"Step 6: Claim credit for the work of the competent people."
"Step 7: After you get promoted, fire the competent people to eliminate witnesses."
originally published on dilbert.com
Open source transcript
TODAY I WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO USE YOUR INCOMPETENCE TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS.
STEP 1: BE INCOMPETENT.
CALSO KNOWN AS "THE EASY PART.") STEP 2: VOLUNTEER FOR THE MOST DIFFICULT AND IMPORTANT PROJECTS STEP 3: CONVINCE YOUR BOSS THAT AN ENEMY WITHIN THE COMPANY IS SLOWING YOU DOWN.
STEP 4: INSIST THAT COMPETENT PEOPLE BE PULLED OFF OF OTHER PROJECTS TO HELP YOU.
STEP 5: DECLARE YOURSELF THE LEADER OF THE COMPETENT PEOPLE STEP 6: CLAIM CREDIT FOR THE WORK OF THE COMPETENT PEOPLE.
STEP 7: AFTER YOU GET PROMOTED, FIRE THE COMPETENT PEOPLE TO ELIMINATE WITNESSES.
collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive
AI Analysis
Title: "How to Be Incompetent in Seven Easy Steps"
Summary:
This Dilbert comic strip, originally published in 2006, humorously outlines a seven-step guide to becoming incompetent in the workplace. The steps are as follows:
Step 1: Be Incompetent (Also Known as "The Easy Part")
The first step emphasizes the importance of being incompetent, which is surprisingly easy to achieve.
Step 2: Volunteer for the Most Difficult and Important Projects
The second step advises volunteering for challenging projects, which will inevitably lead to mistakes and failures.
Step 3: Convince Your Boss That an Enemy Within the Company Is Slowing You Down
In this step, the character convinces their boss that an internal enemy is hindering their progress, rather than acknowledging their own incompetence.
Step 4: Insist That Competent People Be Pulled Off of Other Projects to Help You
The fourth step involves demanding assistance from competent colleagues, further undermining their work and creating more problems.
Step 5: Declare Yourself the Leader of the Competent People
This step involves claiming leadership over competent individuals, despite being incompetent oneself.
Step 6: Claim Credit for the Work of the Competent People
The sixth step involves taking credit for the work of others, reinforcing the notion that incompetence is rewarded.
Step 7: After You Get Promoted, Fire the Competent People to Eliminate Witnesses
The final step involves promoting oneself and then firing competent colleagues to eliminate any potential witnesses to one's incompetence.
Overall, this comic strip pokes fun at the common phenomenon of incompetent individuals rising to leadership positions and manipulating others to cover up their mistakes.
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