Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 15th July 2007

Dilbert//6665, first published nineteen years ago on Sunday 15th July 2007

Tags

unqualified position job higher salray negotiate riase irrational dipwad easily manipulated bogus compariosns illusion of scaricity can't have you desparate to hire rationalizations total lack of qaulifications write the offer business

Official transcript

"No offense, but you're totally unqualified for this position."

"That's okay. I already have a job."

"I just need a job offer at a higher salary so I can use it to negotiate for a raise."

"My boss is an irrational dipwad who is easily manipulated by bogus comparisons and the illusion of scarcity."

"Your offer will make him think my value is much higher than it actually is."

"Great. Now that I know I can't have you, I desperately want to hire you."

"My mind is already forming rationalizations for your total lack of qualifications!"

"How do you turn this off?!!"

"I'll tell you after you write the offer."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

NO OFFENSE, BUT YOU'RE TOTALLY UNQUALIFIED FOR THIS POSITION.

THAT'S OKAY. I ALREADY HAVE A JOB.

I JUST NEED A JOB OFFER AT A HIGHER SALARY SO I CAN USE IT TO NEGOTIATE FOR A RAISE.

MY BOSS IS AN IRRATIONAL DIPWAD WHO IS EASILY MANIPULATED BY BOGUS COMPARISONS AND THE ILLUSION OF SCARCITY.

YOUR OFFER WILL MAKE HIM THINK MY VALUE IS MUCH HIGHER THAN IT ACTUALLY IS.

GREAT. NOW THAT I KNOW I CAN'T HAVE YOU, I DESPERATELY WANT TO HIRE YOU.

MY MIND IS ALREADY FORMING RATIONALIZATIONS FOR YOUR TOTAL LACK OF QUALIFICATIONS!

HOW YOU TURN THIS OFF?!!

I'LL TELL YOU AFTER YOU WRITE THE OFFER.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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