Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 1st June 2008

Dilbert//6987, first published eighteen years ago on Sunday 1st June 2008

Tags

behind schedule defective equipment improbable event reliable vendor sales guy golfing bought hat impossible boss on the hook

Official transcript

The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because your project is behind schedule."

Dilbert says, "That's because the vendor delivered defective equipment."

The Boss says, "It is your job to anticipate that sort of problem and head it off."

Dilbert says, "It isn't possible to anticipate and head off every improbable event."

The Boss says, "Well, you could have picked a more reliable vendor."

Dilbert says, "You told me to use this vendor because the sales guy took you golfing and bought you a hat."

The Boss says, "Well, you should have seen that coming and burned down all hat factories a year ago."

Dilbert says, "He would have bribed you another way."

The Boss says, "That's what lazy people say."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I CAN'T GIVE YOU A RAISE BECAUSE YOUR PROJECT IS BEHIND SCHEDULE.

THAT'S BECAUSE THE VENDOR DELIVERED DEFECTIVE EQUIPMENT.

IT IS YOUR JOB TO ANTICIPATE THAT SORT OF PROBLEM AND HEAD IT OFF.

IT ISN'T POSSIBLE TO ANTICIPATE AND HEAD OFF EVERY IMPROBABLE EVENT.

WELL, YOU COULD HAVE PICKED A MORE RELIABLE VENDOR.

YOU TOLD ME TO USE THIS VENDOR BECAUSE THE SALES GUY TOOK YOU GOLFING AND BOUGHT YOU A HAT.

WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING AND BURNED DOWN ALL HAT FACTORIES A YEAR AGO.

HE WOULD HAVE BRIBED YOU ANOTHER WAY.

THAT'S WHAT LAZY PEOPLE SAY.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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