Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 9th November 2008

Dilbert//7148, first published eighteen years ago on Sunday 9th November 2008

Tags

follow arc unwarranted optimism delusions competence obstructionists slither smother dreams ignorance & envy fuel rumors morph common knowledge resources allocated misinformation & favoritism requirements drift undesirable & impossible

Official transcript

Dilbert says, "Our project plan will follow the usual arc."

Dilbert says, "Phase one will be unwarranted optimism supported by delusions of competence."

Dilbert says, "In phase two, the obstructionists will slither out of their lairs and try to smother our dreams."

Dilbert says, "Ignorance and envy will fuel rumors that get repeated until they morph into common knowledge."

Dilbert says, "Resources will be allocated based on misinformation and favoritism."

Dilbert says, "And requirements will drift until the project is both undesirable and impossible."

Dilbert says, "That brings us to the second week."

Asok says, "I want my unwarranted optimism back."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

OUR PROJECT PLAN WILL FOLLOW THE USUAL ARC.

PHASE ONE WILL BE UNWARRANTED OPTIMISM SUPPORTED BY DELUSIONS OF COMPETENCE.

IN PHASE TWO, THE OBSTRUCTIONISTS WILL SLITHER OUT OF THEIR LAIRS AND TRY TO SMOTHER OUR DREAMS.

IGNORANCE AND ENVY WILL FUEL RUMORS THAT GET REPEATED UNTIL THEY MORPH INTO COMMON KNOWLEDGE.

RESOURCES WILL BE ALLOCATED BASED ON MISINFORMATION AND FAVORITISM.

AND REQUIREMENTS WILL DRIFT UNTIL THE PROJECT IS BOTH UNDESIRABLE AND IMPOSSIBLE.

THAT BRINGS US TO THE SECOND WEEK.

I WANT MY UNWARRANTED OPTIMISM BACK.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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