Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 5th April 2009

Dilbert//7295, first published seventeen years ago on Sunday 5th April 2009

Tags

stubborn stupidity project unavailable bureaucracy

Official transcript

The boss says, "Finish this project in two weeks."

The boss says, "And make sure you get input from all the executive stakeholders."

Dilbert says, "That's impossible."

The boss says, "Why?"

Dilbert says, "Let's call one of the ten stakeholders and I'll show you."

Beep beep This is Ed Bigston's voice mail. I'm not available...ever. I am either on vacation, or sick, or traveling, or in a meeting. I do not check e-mail or return phone calls. Like the horizon, I am more of a concept than a corporeal being. Despair is your only option. The boss says, "Try faxing him."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

FINISH THIS PROJECT IN TWO WEEKS.

AND MAKE SURE YOU GET INPUT FROM ALL THE EXECUTIVE STAKEHOLDERS.

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

LET'S CALL ONE OF THE TEN STAKEHOLDERS AND I'LL SHOW YOU.

WHY?

THIS IS ED BIGSTON'S VOICE MAIL. I'M NOT AVAILABLE... EVER.

I AM EITHER ON VACATION, OR SICK, OR TRAVELING, OR IN A MEETING.

I DO NOT CHECK EMAIL OR RETURN PHONE CALLS.

LIKE THE HORIZON, I AM MORE OF A CONCEPT THAN A CORPOREAL BEING.

DESPAIR IS YOUR ONLY OPTION.

TRY FAXING HIM.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "The Ten Stakeholders"

Summary:

This comic strip, originally published in 2007, revolves around Dilbert, a character known for his sarcastic and often humorous take on corporate life. The strip begins with Ed Bigston, Dilbert's boss, instructing him to finish a project within two weeks. However, when Dilbert asks for input from all ten stakeholders, Ed becomes frustrated, stating that he is either on vacation, sick, traveling, or in a meeting. Despite Dilbert's attempts to clarify his request, Ed remains uncooperative, leading to a series of absurd and humorous exchanges.

Key Points:

• Ed Bigston instructs Dilbert to complete a project in two weeks.
• Dilbert requests input from all ten stakeholders, but Ed is unavailable due to various reasons.
• Dilbert's attempts to clarify his request are met with Ed's frustration and uncooperation.
• The strip showcases the absurdity and humor in corporate communication.

generated by llama-3.2-11b-vision-instruct

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.