Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 1st November 2009

Dilbert//7505, first published seventeen years ago on Sunday 1st November 2009

Tags

asking work task assignment excuses ridicule avoiding hopeless defeated annoyed complaining

Official transcript

Dilbert says, "Could you make these changes in the database? It will only take five minutes."Man says, "Ooh, I don't know?"

Dilbert says, "Wait!"

Dilbert says, "Are you planning to spend ten minutes explaining why you don't have five minutes to do this task?"

Dilbert says, "Or are you so incompetent that a five-minute task will take an hour?"

Dilbert says, "Or are you limited by company policy because you're a feckless waste of carbon?"

Dilbert says, "Or are you the agreeable but unorganized type who will say yes, lose my note, and forget who asked?"

Man says, "I was planning to tell you this doesn't need to be done and refuse to change my position even after you give me good reasons."

Dilbert says, "Experience is just another word for losing hope."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

COULD YOU MAKE THESE CHANGES IN THE DATABASE? IT WILL ONLY TAKE FIVE MINUTES.

.

I DON'T KNOW..

WAIT!

ARE YOU PLANNING TO SPEND TEN MINUTES EXPLAINING WHY YOU DON'T HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO DO THIS TASK?

OR ARE YOU SO INCOMPETENT THAT A FIVE-MINUTE TASK WILL TAKE AN HOUR?

OR ARE YOU LIMITED BY COMPANY POLICY BECAUSE YOU'RE A FECKLESS WASTE OF CARBON?

OR ARE YOU THE AGREEABLE BUT UNORGANIZED TYPE WHO WILL SAY YES, LOSE MY NOTE, AND FORGET WHO ASKED?

I WAS PLANNING TO TELL YOU THIS DOESN'T NEED TO BE DONE AND REFUSE TO CHANGE MY POSITION EVEN AFTER YOU GIVE ME GOOD REASONS.

EXPERIENCE IS JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR LOSING HOPE.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "A Five-Minute Task"

Summary:

The comic strip, originally published in 2001, features Dilbert, a character known for his sarcastic and humorous take on corporate life. In this strip, Dilbert is tasked with completing a five-minute task, but he is met with a series of bureaucratic obstacles that prevent him from doing so.

Key Points:

• Dilbert is asked to make changes to a database, but it will only take five minutes.
• He is told that he needs to spend ten minutes explaining why he doesn't have five minutes to do the task.
• Dilbert is asked to wait for someone who will say yes, lose his note, and forget who asked.
• He is told that he needs to be agreeable but unorganized, and that he will be asked to change his position even after he gives good reasons.
• Dilbert is asked to experience another word for losing hope.

Humor:

The comic strip pokes fun at the absurdity of corporate bureaucracy and the ways in which it can hinder productivity. Dilbert's sarcastic comments and reactions add to the humor, as do the ridiculous requests he is asked to make. Overall, the comic strip is a lighthearted commentary on the frustrations of working in a large corporation.

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Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.