Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 1st November 2009

Dilbert//7505, first published seventeen years ago on Sunday 1st November 2009

Tags

asking work task assignment excuses ridicule avoiding hopeless defeated annoyed complaining

Official transcript

Dilbert says, "Could you make these changes in the database? It will only take five minutes."Man says, "Ooh, I don't know?"

Dilbert says, "Wait!"

Dilbert says, "Are you planning to spend ten minutes explaining why you don't have five minutes to do this task?"

Dilbert says, "Or are you so incompetent that a five-minute task will take an hour?"

Dilbert says, "Or are you limited by company policy because you're a feckless waste of carbon?"

Dilbert says, "Or are you the agreeable but unorganized type who will say yes, lose my note, and forget who asked?"

Man says, "I was planning to tell you this doesn't need to be done and refuse to change my position even after you give me good reasons."

Dilbert says, "Experience is just another word for losing hope."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

COULD YOU MAKE THESE CHANGES IN THE DATABASE? IT WILL ONLY TAKE FIVE MINUTES.

.

I DON'T KNOW..

WAIT!

ARE YOU PLANNING TO SPEND TEN MINUTES EXPLAINING WHY YOU DON'T HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO DO THIS TASK?

OR ARE YOU SO INCOMPETENT THAT A FIVE-MINUTE TASK WILL TAKE AN HOUR?

OR ARE YOU LIMITED BY COMPANY POLICY BECAUSE YOU'RE A FECKLESS WASTE OF CARBON?

OR ARE YOU THE AGREEABLE BUT UNORGANIZED TYPE WHO WILL SAY YES, LOSE MY NOTE, AND FORGET WHO ASKED?

I WAS PLANNING TO TELL YOU THIS DOESN'T NEED TO BE DONE AND REFUSE TO CHANGE MY POSITION EVEN AFTER YOU GIVE ME GOOD REASONS.

EXPERIENCE IS JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR LOSING HOPE.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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