Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 7th February 2010

Dilbert//7603, first published sixteen years ago on Sunday 7th February 2010

Tags

management theory engineer find choices unhelpful useless office characters impractical doomed high demand engineering

Official transcript

Man says, "I need you to assign one of your engineers to my project."

The Boss says, "Follow me and I'll show you your choices."

The Boss says, "This one is highly capable, but she's in such high demand that you'll be lucky if she ever returns a call."

The Boss says, "This one is aggressively unhelpful."

The Boss says, "This one will tell you that all of your plans are impractial and doomed."

The Boss says, "That one is an intern, so no one takes him seriously."

The Boss says, "My management theory is that nature makes everyone useless in their own way."

Man says, "I'm not useless."

The Boss says, "Said the man who can't find a good engineer."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I NEED YOU TO ASSIGN ONE OF YOUR ENGINEERS TO MY PROJECT.

FOLLOW ME AND I'LL SHOW YOU YOUR CHOICES.

THIS ONE IS HIGHLY CAPABLE, BUT SHE'S IN SUCH HIGH DEMAND THAT YOU'LL BE LUCKY IF SHE EVER RETURNS A CALL.

THIS ONE IS AGGRESSIVELY UNHELPFUL.

THIS ONE WILL TELL YOU THAT ALL OF YOUR PLANS ARE IMPRACTICAL AND DOOMED.

THAT ONE IS AN INTERN, SO NO ONE TAKES HIM SERIOUSLY.

MY MANAGEMENT THEORY IS THAT NATURE MAKES EVERYONE USELESS IN THEIR OWN WAY.

I'M NOT USELESS.

SAID THE MAN WHO CAN'T FIND A GOOD ENGINEER.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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