Dilbert cartoon first published on Wednesday 7th July 2010

Dilbert//7753, first published sixteen years ago on Wednesday 7th July 2010

Tags

report oil rigs explode medicine bacteria pharmaceuticals government share holder success lie

Official transcript

The Boss says, "I'm happy to report that none of our oil rigs exploded."

The Boss says, "Our children's pharmaceuticals are not tainted with bacteria, and the government is not investigating our financial practices."

The Boss says, "All we're doing is quietly losing share-holder value."

CEO says, "I knew it would feel like success if we kept at it!"

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I'M HAPPY TO REPORT THAT NONE OF OUR OIL RIGS EXPLODED.

OUR CHILDREN'S PHARMACEUTICALS ARE NOT TAINTED WITH BACTERIA, AND THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT INVESTIGATING OUR FINANCIAL PRACTICES.

ALL WE'RE DOING IS QUIETLY LOSING SHAREHOLDER VALUE.

I KNEW IT WOULD FEEL LIKE SUCCESS IF WE KEPT AT IT!

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.