Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 30th January 2011

Dilbert//7960, first published fifteen years ago on Sunday 30th January 2011

Tags

laziness lying work ethic wasting time options two options truth or lie pin blame faster to hear lie document is perfect assign balme later say misinterpreted

Official transcript

Woman says, "Dilbert, your boss asked me to get your input on this."

Dilbert says, "Absolutely, Ruth."

Dilbert says, "We have two options for wasting our time here."

Dilbert says, "Option one: I could tell you all of the things you should change, and you could ignore me as usual."

Dilbert says, "Option two: I could lie, and tell you that everything is perfect."

Woman says, "I prefer the lie. That way I can pin some blame on you if things go bad."

Dilbert says, "Excellent choice. It's faster, and I can later say I was misinterpreted."

Dilbert says, "Okay then, I declare that your document is perfect, under a certain set of assumptions that I won't list."

The Boss says, "Did you help Ruth?"

Dilbert says, "I'll say yes, but it's sort of a gray area."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

SCOTT ADAMS dilbert.com DILBERT, YOUR BOSS ASKED ME TO GET YOUR INPUT ABSOLUTELY, RUTH.

WE HAVE TWO OPTIONS FOR WASTING OUR TIME HERE.

OPTION ONE: I COULD TELL YOU ALL OF THE THINGS YOU SHOULD CHANGE, AND YOU COULD IGNORE ME AC LISHJAI OPTION TWO: I COULD LIE, AND TELL YOU THAT EVERYTHING IS PERFECT.

I PREFER THE LIE.

THAT WAY I CAN PIN SOME BLAME ON YOU IF THINGS GO BAD.

EXCELLENT CHOICE.

IT'S FASTER, AND I CAN LATER SAY I WAS MISINTERPRETED.

OKAY THEN, I DECLARE THAT YOUR DOCUMENT IS PERFECT, UNDER A CERTAIN SET OF ASSUMPTIONS THAT I WON'T LIST.

DID YOU HELP RUTH?

I'LL SAY YES, BUT IT'S SORT OF A GRAY AREA.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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