Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 8th May 2011

Dilbert//8058, first published fifteen years ago on Sunday 8th May 2011

Tags

business ethics suspicion features for product overstaffed spare time job description healthy raise highest performance rating

Official transcript

Dilbert: In my spare time I created some awesome new features for our product. Boss: GAAA!!! Shut the door! Dilbert: What?!! Boss: You fool! If my boss finds out you have spare time, he'll think we're overstaffed! You can never speak of these awesome new features again. Dilbert: I'm confused. You told me I need to go above and beyond my job description to get the highest performance rating. Boss: That's just something I say to keep you from getting a healthy raise. Dilbert: So... I lose no matter what I do? Boss: For what it's worth, you're doing better than our customers.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

DILBERT IN MY SPARE TIME I CREATED SOME AWESOME NEW FEATURES FOR OUR PRODUCT.

GAAAA!!!!

SHUT THE DOOR!

WHAT?!!

YOU FOOL! IF MY BOSS FINDS OUT YOU HAVE SPARE TIME, HELL THINK WERE OVERSTAFFED!

YOU CAN NEVER SPEAK OF THESE AWESOME NEW FEATURES AGAIN IM CONFUsEd, YaU TOLD ME T NEED TO GO RBOVE AND BEYOND MY PERFORMANCE RATING THAT'S JUST SOMETHING T SAY TO KEER YOU FROM GETTING A HEALTHY RATSE .. I LOSE NO MATTER WHAT I DO?

FOR HIHATTT'S HOR TH. YOURE DOING BETTER THAN

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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