Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 25th September 2011

Dilbert//8198, first published fifteen years ago on Sunday 25th September 2011

Tags

competition (psychology) goals for the year assignments average raise invent nuclear fusion lack of knowledge

Official transcript

Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

IM GETTING WRITER'S BLOCK TRYING TO COME UP WITH YOUR GOALS FOR THE YEAR.

JUST WRITE ANYTHING.

WE BOTH KNOW I'LL IGNORE THE GOALS AND WORK ON WHATEVER YOU ASSIGN TO ME.

HOW WILL I KNOW IF YOU DO A GOOD JOB IF YOU DON'T HAVE GOALS?

SAME WAY AS ALWAYS.

YOULL COMPARE YOUR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE ABOUT WHAT I DID TO THE GOALS YOU IMAGINE YOU MIGHT HAVE CREATED IF YOU COULD HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE.

THEN YOULL GIVE ME AN AVERAGE RAISE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE WHO DIDN'T INVENT NUCLEAR FUSION.

WORKS FOR ME.

IT'S BETTER TO NOT OVER - THINK THESE THINGS.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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