Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 18th December 2011

Dilbert//8282, first published fifteen years ago on Sunday 18th December 2011

Tags

declare failure explaining things frustration incompetence office workers partial victory platform upgarde teds brain trapped

Official transcript

Boss: Ted can explain what you need to do before the platform upgrade. Dilbert: No he can't. Ted's brain is where knowledge goes to die. He's not good at explaining things. The knowledge might be in his brain, but it's trapped there. Unfortunately, Ted's incompetence is so unbelievable that you literally don't believe me. In time, you will assume that Ted taught me well but I forgot all of it. I'm doomed before I start. Let's just declare failure and move on. Boss: That works for me. Dilbert: Partial victory.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

TED CAN EXPLAIN WHAT YOU NEED TO DO BEFORE THE PLATFORM UPGRADE.

NO HE CAN'T TED'S BRAIN IS WHERE KNOWLEDGE GOES TO DIE.

HE'S NOT GOOD AT EXPLAINING THINGS.

THE KNOWLEDGE MIGHT BE IN HIS BRAIN, BUT IT'S TRAPPED THERE.

UNFORTUNATELY, TED'S INCOMPETENCE IS SO UNBELIEVABLE THAT YOU LITERALLY DON T BELIEVE ME.

IN TIME, YOU WILL ASSUME THAT TED TAUGHT ME WELL BUT I FORGOT ALL OF IT.

I'M DOOMED BEFORE I START. LET'S JUST DECLARE FAILURE AND MOVE ON.

THAT WORKS FOR ME.

PARTIAL VICTORY.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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