Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 18th March 2012

Dilbert//8373, first published fourteen years ago on Sunday 18th March 2012

Tags

algorithm attraction creative men creativity is random dating free will humans illusion moist robots parties shop around short term relationsips relationships

Official transcript

Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

OKAY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

I'M CREATIVE.

STUDIES SHOW THAT WOMEN PREFER CREATIVE MEN FOR SHORT-TERM RELATIONSHIPS.

THAT PLANT IS RANDOM, NOT CREATIVE.

CREATIVITY IS RANDOM.

IF CREATIVITY WERE ANYTHING BUT RANDOM, SOMEONE WOULD HAVE FIGURED OUT THE ALGORITHM BY NOW.

I NOTICE THAT YOUR PUPILS ARE DILATING.

THAT'S A SIGN OF ATTRACTION. MY PLAN IS WORKING.

FREE WILL IS AN ILLUSION. HUMANS ARE NOTHING BUT MOIST ROBOTS. JUST RELAX AND LET IT HAPPEN.

THIS IS WEIRD. IM ACTUALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU NOW THANKS, BUT IM GOING TO SHOP AROUND.

MY WORLD NO LONGER MAKES SENSE!

WALK IT OFF

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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