Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 2nd December 2012

Dilbert//8632, first published fourteen years ago on Sunday 2nd December 2012

Tags

cublicle hours worked judgement long term projects near term deliverables negotiate output work ethic work from home holy grail

Official transcript

Wally: I would like to be evaluated on my output, not the hours I work. Boss: Okay. That sounds reasonable. Wally: It does? Wow. And I'd also like to work at home where there are fewer distractions so I can be more productive. Boss: Okay. That makes sense. Wally: Really? I mean... great! I'd also like to work on long-term projects that have no near-term deliverables. Holy grail, holy grail, holy grail. Boss: Go back to your cubicle and don't leave until five o'clock. Wally: I was this close to retiring at full pay.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I WOULD LIKE TO BE EVALUATED ON MY OUTPUT, NOT THE HOURS I WORK.

OKAY. THAT SOUNDS REASONABLE.

DOES?

WOW.

AND I'D ALSO LIKE TO WORK AT HOME WHERE THERE ARE FEWER DISTRACTIONS SO I CAN BE MORE PRODUCTIVE.

OKAY.

THAT MAKES SENSE.

REALLY?

I MEAN...

GREAT!

I'D ALSO LIKE TO WORK ON LONG-TERM PROJECTS THAT HAVE NO NEAR -TERM DELIVERABLES HOLY GRAIL, HOLY GRAIL, HOLY GRAIL.

GO BACK TO YOUR CUBICLE AND DON'T LEAVE UNTIL FIVE O'CLOCK.

I WAS THIS CLOSE TO RETIRING AT FULL PAY.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Title: "The Quest for Productivity"

Summary:

In this Dilbert comic strip, the titular character, Dilbert, is frustrated with his work environment and seeks to improve his productivity. He presents a humorous plan to his boss, which includes:

• Evaluating his output rather than hours worked
• Working from home to minimize distractions
• Prioritizing long-term projects with clear deliverables
• Returning to his cubicle only until 5 o'clock

Dilbert's boss is amused by his suggestions, but ultimately decides to retire at full pay instead. The strip pokes fun at the challenges of modern work life and the quest for productivity in a bureaucratic setting.

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