Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 11th May 2014

Dilbert//9157, first published twelve years ago on Sunday 11th May 2014

Tags

efficiency experts, employee tracking, wandering aorund, meetings, restroom trips, employee monitoring, wrist monitor, low levels of caffeine, typos up, beat authority figure, tablet computer, danger signals, workloads

Official transcript

Boss: Okay, let's see how employee 3452378 is doing. According to our employee tracking system, you have wandered around the office 17% more than the average employee. Dilbert: Maybe I have more meetings than most people. Boss: No, most of the difference is in restroom trips and detours past an attractive woman's desk. Your wrist monitor shows unacceptably low levels of caffeine for your workload. That's probably why your typos are up 9% and you have looked away from your workstation nine more times than last month. Now your wrist monitor indicated a desire to bean an authority figure to death with his own tablet computer. Phew! Your brain's wuss subroutine just kicked in. The danger has passed.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

HOA IMPLE SEE 3452378 IS DOING.

ACCORDING TO OUR EMPLOYEE TRACKING SYSTEM, YOU HAVE WANDERED AROUND THE OFFICE 17% MORE THAN THE AVERAGE EMPLOYEE.

MAYBE I HAVE MORE MEETINGS THAN MOST PEOPLE.

NO, MOST OF THE DIFFERENCE IS IN RESTROOM TRIPS AND DETOURS PAST AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN'S DESK.

YOUR WRIST MONITOR SHOWS UNACCEPTABLY LOW LEVELS OF CAFFEINE FOR YOUR WORKLOAD.

THAT'S PROBABLY WHY YOUR TYPOS ARE UP 9% AND YOU HAVE LOOKED AWAY FROM YOUR WORKSTATION NINE MORE TIMES THAN LAST MONTH.

NOW YOUR WRIST MONITOR INDICATES A DESIRE TO BEAT AN AUTHORITY FIGURE TO DEATH WITH HIS OWN TABLET COMPUTER.

PHEW! YOUR BRAIN'S WUSS SUBROUTINE JUST KICKED IN. THE DANGER HAS PASSED

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "Employee Tracking System"

Summary:

The comic strip, created by Scott Adams and originally published in 2006, revolves around the character of Dilbert, an office worker. The story begins with Dilbert's boss, Wally, informing him that the company has implemented an employee tracking system. According to Wally, the system reveals that Dilbert has spent 17% more time wandering around the office than the average employee.

Dilbert is skeptical of the system's accuracy and questions its reliability. He notes that his wrist monitor shows unacceptably low levels of caffeine for his workload, which he attributes to the system's inaccuracy. Additionally, he points out that his typos are up 9% and that he has looked away from his workstation nine more times than last month.

Wally responds by indicating that the wrist monitor indicates a desire to eat an authority figure to death with his own tablet computer. Dilbert is shocked and concerned by this statement, which he believes is a threat.

The comic strip ends with Dilbert's brain's wuss subroutine kicking in, causing him to pass out due to fear. The final panel shows Wally sitting at his desk, looking pleased with himself.

Key Themes:

• The comic strip explores the theme of workplace surveillance and the potential consequences of relying on technology to monitor employee behavior.
• It also touches on the idea of paranoia and the fear of being judged or evaluated by others.
• The strip uses humor to comment on the absurdity of modern office life and the ways in which technology can be used to control and manipulate employees.

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