Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 7th September 2014

Dilbert//9276, first published twelve years ago on Sunday 7th September 2014

Tags

assumption, business ethics, buy prodcuts, corporate strategy, corporation, customer centric, etiquette & ethics, evil, executives, ideas, marketing campaign, monopoly, needs, needs of customers, psychological manipulation

Official transcript

CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I WELCOME ANY INPUT ON OUR CORPORATE STRATEGY.

I THINK WE NEED TO BE MORE CUSTOMER- CENTRIC.

YOU MEAN RAISE OUR PRICES?

I MEAN FOCUS ON THE NEEDS OF OUR CUSTOMERS.

YOU MEAN WE SHOULD BE A MONOPOLY SO THEY NEED US?

UM, WE SHOULD FIND OUT WHAT THEY NEED AND THEN GIVE IT TO THEM.

THEY NEED TO BUY OUR PRODUCTS.

THEY PROBABLY DONT.

SO YOU'RE SAYING OUR MARKETING CAMPAIGN SHOULD USE PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATION TO MAKE PEOPLE THINK THEY NEED OUR PRODUCTS.

YOU FINALLY HAD A GOOD IDEA.

IM GOING TO STOP TALKING NOW.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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