Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 28th September 2014

Dilbert//9297, first published twelve years ago on Sunday 28th September 2014

Tags

bird poop, cars, incentives, mass transit, punishment, worst employee of the month, special parking spot, big tree, every bird, firemans axe, wallow in shame, incentives dont work

Official transcript

Boss: You've been named worst employee of the month. The honor comes with a special parking spot. It's under the big tree that every bird in the county uses as a restroom. By the end of the day, you'll need a fireman's axe just to find the door handle. As you chop your way toward the inner core that is your car, think about how you could have worked harder this month. You'll probably draw a crowd in the parking lot so remember to wallow in your shame. Wally: I take mass transit to work. Boss: Incentives don't work.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

YOUVE BEEN NAMED WORST EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.

THE HONOR COMES WITH A SPECIAL PARKING SPOT.

IT'S UNDER THE BIG TREE THAT EVERY BIRD IN THE COUNTY USES AS A PUBLIC RESTROOM.

BY THE END OF THE DAY, YOULL NEED A FIREMAN'S AXE JUST TO FIND THE DOOR HANDLE.

AS YOU CHOP YOUR WAY TOWARD THE INNER CORE THAT IS YOUR CAR, THINK ABOUT HOW YOU COULD HAVE WORKED HARDER THIS MONTH.

YOULL PROBABLY DRAW A CROWD IN THE PARKING LOT SO REMEMBER TO WALLOW IN YOUR SHAME.

I TAKE MASS TRANSIT TO WORK.

INCENTIVES DON'T WORK.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.