Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 25th January 2015

Dilbert//9416, first published 11 years ago on Sunday 25th January 2015

Tags

alienation, deception, strategy, toxic, toxic relationship, work ethic, useless, ambitous, meetings, incomplete information, anxious, hateful

Official transcript

Wally: I'm already useless, but I'm thinking about becoming toxic as well. Dilbert: That seems ambitious for you. Wally: Think it through. As a useless person, I still get invited to meetings because I don't cause much trouble. But if I go full-toxic, no one will invite me to meetings in the first place. I can avoid a lot of work by nipping it in the bud. Dilbert: Is it hard to be toxic? How do you do it? Wally: It's easy. All you do is provide incomplete information that makes people anxious and hateful. I can't tell you what was said in that last meeting, but I defended you.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I'M ALREADY USELESS, BUT I'M THINKING ABOUT BECOMING TOXIC AS WELL.

THAT SEEMS AMBITIOUS FOR YOU.

THINK IT THROUGH.

AS A USELESS PERSON, I STILL GET INVITED TO MEETINGS BECAUSE I DON'T CAUSE MUCH TROUBLE.

BUT IF I GO FULL - TOXIC, NO ONE WILL INVITE ME TO MEETINGS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I CAN AVOID A LOT OF WORK BY NIPPING IT IN THE BUD.

IS IT HARD TO BE TOXIC? HOW DO YOU DO IT?

IT'S EASY.

ALL YOU DO IS PROVIDE INCOMPLETE INFORMATION THAT MAKES PEOPLE ANXIOUS AND HA TEFUL.

I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT WAS SAID IN THAT LAST MEETING, BUT I DEFENDED YOU.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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