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Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 22nd February 2015

Dilbert//9444, first published 11 years ago on Sunday 22nd February 2015


Tags

deadline, expectation, impossible, irrational, leadership, motivation, rationality


Official transcript

Boss: How many days will it take to finish the tests? Dilbert: Three. Boss: You have two. Dilbert: I can't do it in two days. That's why I said three. Boss: That was before I used my leadership skills to tell you to do it in two days. Dilbert: Leadership doesn't change the laws of physics. The test takes three days. Boss: You have two. Leadership! These test results look incomplete. Dilbert: Just like my soul.

originally published on dilbert.com


Open source transcript

HOW MANY DAYS WILL IT TAKE TO FINISH THE TESTS?

THREE.

YOU HAVE TwO.

I CAN'T DO IT IN TWO DAYS.

THAT'S WHY I SAID THREE.

THAT WAS BEFORE I USED MY LEADERSHIP SKILLS TO TELL YOU TO DO IT IN TWO DAYS.

LEADERSHIP DOESN'T CHANGE THE LAWS OF PHYSICS. THE TEST TAKES THREE DAYS.

YOU HAVE TWO.

LEADERSHIP!

THESE TEST RESULTS LOOK INCOMPLETE.

JUST LIKE MY SOUL.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive


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