Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 15th March 2015

Dilbert//9465, first published 11 years ago on Sunday 15th March 2015

Tags

executives, ceos, raise, asking for a raise, compensation, money, wages, comparison, wage discrepancy, mansion

Official transcript

Boss: I can only give you a 3% raise. If you want more, take it up with our CEO. Dilbert: I'd like to explain why I deserve more than a 3% raise. As a negotiating strategy, Dogbert will simultaneously read a media report about your lavish $85 million mansion. I invented three new technologies this year. Dogbert: "The toilets are solid gold."

Dilbert: I wrote most of the code for our new product. Dogbert: "The helicopter pad is on the roof of the car museum."

Dilbert: I worked eighty hours per week. Dogbert: "Every elevator has a full kitchen."

Dilbert: I could earn more at Google or Apple... Dogbert: "Entire house rotates for optimal sun exposure."

Dilbert: Do you see where I'm going with this? CEO: High-five?

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I CAN ONLY GIVE YOU A 3% RAISE. IF YOU WANT MORE, TAKE IT UP WITH OUR CEO.

I'D LIKE TO EXPLAIN WHY I DESERVE MORE THAN A 3% RAISE.

AS A NEGOTIATING STRATEGY, DOGBERT WILL SIMULTANEOUSLY READ A MEDIA REPORT ABOUT YOUR LAVISH $85 MILLION MANSION.

I INVENTED THREE NEW TECHNOLOGIES THIS YEAR.

"THE TOILETS ARE SOLID GOLD." I WROTE MOST OF THE CODE FOR OUR MAIN PRODUCT.

"THE HELICOPTER PAD IS ON THE ROOMUSEUM. CAR I WORKED EIGHTY HOURS PER WEEK.

"EVERY ELEVATOR HAS A FULL KITCHEN." I COULD EARN MORE AT GOOGLE OR APPLE.

"ENTIRE HOUSE ROTATES FOR OPTIMAL SUN EXPOSURE.

DO YOU SEE WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS?

HIGH- FIVE?

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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