Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 15th May 2016

Dilbert//9892, first published ten years ago on Sunday 15th May 2016

Tags

expectations, unrealistic, project, group, laziness, prediction

Official transcript

Boss: When do you expect to finish your project? Dilbert: Never. Boss: That's your plan? Dilbert: No, my plan is to be done in a week. You asked me what I expect. I base my expectations on the quality of people you assigned to my project without asking my opinion. The time-wasters outnumber the productive people on the team by three to one. Under that scenario, plus your total lack of leadership, the world will end before this project does. Boss: Then why is your plan to be done in a week? Dilbert: Because you don't like it when I tell the truth. Boss: Let's compromise on two weeks. Dilbert: Can we set those two weeks on auto-renew?

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

WHEN DO YOU EXPECT TO FINISH YOUR PROJECT?

NEVER.

THAT'S YOUR PLAN?

NO, MY PLAN IS TO BE DONE IN A WEEK.

YOU ASKED ME WHAT I EXPECT.

I BASE MY EXPECTATIONS ON THE QUALITY OF PEOPLE YOU ASSIGNED TO MY PROJECT WITHOUT ASKING MY OPINION.

THE TIME-WASTERS OUTNUMBER THE PRODUCTIVE PEOPLE ON THE TEAM BY THREE TO ONE.

UNDER THAT SCENARIO, PLUS YOUR TOTAL LACK OF LEADERSHIP, THE WORLD WILL END BEFORE THIS PROJECT DOES THEN WHY IS YOUR PLAN TO BE DONE IN ONE WEEK?

BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE IT WHEN I TELL THE TRUTH.

LET'S COMPRO MISE ON TwO WEEKS.

CAN WE SET THOSE TWO WEEKS ON AUTO- RENEW?

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "The Time-Wasters Outnumber the Productive People on the Team by Three to One"

Summary:

The comic strip depicts a conversation between Dilbert and his boss, where Dilbert is asked to complete a project in one week. However, Dilbert explains that the time-wasters outnumber the productive people on the team by three to one, making it impossible to meet the deadline. The boss is skeptical and asks Dilbert to compromise on two weeks, but Dilbert refuses, stating that he will not compromise on quality. The boss then asks Dilbert to set those two weeks on auto-renew, implying that the project will be extended indefinitely. The comic strip highlights the challenges of working with unproductive team members and the importance of prioritizing quality over speed.

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