Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 14th August 2016

Dilbert//9983, first published ten years ago on Sunday 14th August 2016

Tags

workload, work ethic, laziness, teamwork, team, philosophy, business

Official transcript

Dilbert: I don't know how you are stress-free when we have so much work to do. Wally: It's all about understanding percentages. No matter how hard you work, you will never finish even two percent of what needs to be done. The financial rewards of doing two percent of your work are identical to doing none. It's also a good idea to volunteer for several projects so everyone thinks you're working on the other ones. Your problem is that you're doing actual work for no good reason. Dilbert: My problem is that I'm doing your work plus my work! Wally: It's only two percent more work, you whiner.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU ARE STRESS-FREE WHEN WE HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO.

IT'S ALL ABOUT UNDERSTANDING PERCENTAGES.

NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU WORK, YOU WILL NEVER FINISH EVEN 2% OF WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

THE FINANCIAL REWARDS OF DOING 2% OF YOUR WORK ARE IDENTICAL TO DOING NONE.

IT'S ALSO A GOOD IDEA TO VOLUNTEER FOR SEVERAL PROJECTS SO EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE WORKING ON THE OTHER ONES.

YOUR PROBLEM IS THAT YOU'RE DOING ACTUAL WORK FOR NO GOOD REASON.

MY PROBLEM IS THAT IM DOING YOUR WORK PLUS MY WORK!

IT'S ONLY 2% MORE WORK, YOU WHINER.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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