Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 30th October 2016

Dilbert//10060, first published ten years ago on Sunday 30th October 2016

Tags

hypothetical, worst-case scenario, pessimism, nightmare

Official transcript

Boss: What's the worst-case scenario? Dilbert: A rogue nation could insert a cyberweapon on our software. The virus could destroy all technology on Earth. Lacking the means to communicate over great distances, single people would only be able to marry people who lived nearby. I could end up marrying your daughter. That would make you my father-in-law and my boss. That nightmare would cause me to denounce humankind and go live in a park, naked, with a family of squirrels. When winter came, I would be forced to strangle the squirrels, one by one, to make myself a coat. I can't tan leather, so that would be a senseless tragedy. Boss: Let's try to avoid that.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

WHAT'S THE WORST-CASE SCENARIO?

A ROGUE NATION COULD INSERT A CYBERWEAPON IN OUR SOFTWARE.

THE VIRUS COULD DETOEY ON EARTH NOLOGY ON EARTH.

LACKING THE MEANS TO COMMUNICATE OVER GREAT DISTANCES, SINGLE PEOPLE WOULD ONLY BE ABLE TO MARRY PEOPLE WHO LIVED NEARBY.

I COULD END UP MARRYING YOUR DAUGHTER. THAT WOULD MAKE YOU MY FATHER-IN - LAW AND MY BOSS.

THAT NIGHTMARE WOULD CAUSE ME TO DENOUNCE HUMANKIND AND GO LIVE IN THE PARK, NAKED, WITH A FAMILY OF SQUIRRELS.

WHEN WINTER CAME, I WOULD BE FORCED TO STRANGLE THE SQUIRRELS, ONE BY ONE, TO MAKE MYSELF A COAT.

I CAN'T TAN LEATHER, SO THAT WOULD BE A SENSELESS TRAGEDY.

LET'S TRY TO AVOID THAT.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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