Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 20th August 2017

Dilbert//10354, first published nine years ago on Sunday 20th August 2017

Tags

human resources, certification, listening, corporations, business

Official transcript

Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Catbert: Don't bother me. I'm studying for a human resources certification. I already have my certifications for sadism and maniacal laughing. And, obviously, I have the basic HR certification for recreational downsizing. If you don't have that one, you can't even get a job in HR. But I need one more certification to make the big bucks. Now run along while I practice my joyless scowling. Dilbert: You talk a lot about yourself. Catbert: I prefer to think of myself as a non-listener.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CATBERT: EVIL DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES DON'T BOTHER .

I'M STUDYING FOR A HUMAN RESOURCES CERTIFICATION.

I ALREADY HAVE MY CERTIFICATIONS FOR SADISM AND MANIACAL LAUGHING.

AND, OBVIOUSLY, I HAVE THE BASIC H.R.

CERTIFICATION FOR RECREATIONAL DOWNSIZING.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE THAT ONE, YOU CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB IN H.R.

BUT I NEED ONE MORE CERTIFICATION TO MAKE THE BIG BUCKS.

NOW RUN ALONG WHILE I PRACTICE MY JOYLESS SCOWLING.

YOU TALK A LOT ABOUT YOURSELF.

I PREFER TO THINK OF MYSELF AS A NON- LISTENER.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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