Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 26th November 2017

Dilbert//10452, first published nine years ago on Sunday 26th November 2017

Tags

negotiation, demand, haggle, prices, pricing, negotiate

Official transcript

Boss: Negotiate with your vendor and get the price down. Dilbert: I don't know how to negotiate. I'm an engineer. Boss: It's simple. All you need to do is make an aggressive first demand and settle for less. Dilbert: How aggressive are we talking about here? Boss: The more aggressive the better. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Boss: Trust me. More is better. Dilbert: My opening demand is that you name me as a beneficiary on your life insurance police, mow my lawn, and die in traffic on the way home. Boss: You got the price down by 35 percent. Dilbert: I really hoped it wouldn't work.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

NEGOTIATE WITH YOUR VENDOR AND GET THE PRICE DOWN.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO NEGOTIATE. I'M AN ENGINEER.

IT'S SIMPLE. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS MAKE AN AGGRESSIVE FIRST DEMAND AND SETTLE FOR LESS.

HOW AGGRESSIVE ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE?

THE MORE AGGRESSIVE THE BETTER.

THAT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT.

TRUST ME. MORE IS BETTER.

MY OPENING DEMAND IS THAT YOU NAME ME AS BENEFICIARY ON YOUR LIFE INSURANCE POLICY, MOW MY LAWN, AND DIE IN TRAFFIC ON THE WAY HOME.

YOU GOT THE PRICE DOWN BY 35%.

I REALLY HOPED IT WOULDN'T WORK.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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