Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 1st December 2019

Dilbert//11187, first published seven years ago on Sunday 1st December 2019

Murders Robots

Tags

office workers, business, robot, technology, human resources, bad behavior, reboot, murder, plot, erase

Official transcript

dilbert: last week i upgraded our robot's social awareness module. it immediately reported me to human resources for unspecified bad behavior. so i murdered the robot by erasing its memory and rebooting it. but another robot told it what happened, and then both of them plotted to kill me. so i erased the memory from both robots and then rebooted them. but a third robot found out about the first two, and now the entire robot community sees me as a serial killer. so i released a computer virus to kill every robot in the world, just to play it safe.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

LAST WEEK I UPGRADED OUR ROBOT'S SOCIAL AWARENESS MODULE.

IT IMMEDIATELY REPORTED ME TO HUMAN RESOURCES FOR UNSPECIFIED BAD BEHAVIOR.

SO I MURDERED THE ROBOT BY ERASING ITS MEMORY AND REBOOTING IT.

BUT ANOTHER ROBOT TOLD IT WHAT HAPPENED, AND THEN BOTH OF THEM PLOTTED TO KILL ME.

SO I ERASED THE MEMORY FROM BOTH ROBOTS AND THEN REBOOTED THEM.

BUT A THIRD ROBOT FOUND OUT ABOUT THE FIRST TWO, AND NOW THE ENTIRE ROBOT COMMUNITY SEES ME AS A SERIAL KILLER.

SO I RELEASED A COMPUTER VIRUS TO KILL EVERY ROBOT IN THE WORLD, JUST TO PLAY IT SAFE.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LIGHTS?

UH-OH.

I MISSED ONE.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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