Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 2nd January 2000

Dilbert//3914, first published 26 years ago on Sunday 2nd January 2000

Tags

can't read ceo copies esearch hand off manage data no copies smother me documents

Official transcript

CEO says...: The CEO is sitting at his desk showing a folder to the Senior VP. The CEO says to the Senior VP: "The research supports my strategy."

The CEO hands the folder to the Senior VP and says: "You can read the research but don't make copies."

Senior VP says...: The Senior VP is holding the folder with both hands and says to the VP: "I can tell you about it but you can't read it."

VP says...: The VP says to the Assistant VP: "I don't remember the reason but I'm sure there is one."

Assistant VP says...: The Assistant VP is sitting at his desk and he says to the boss: "There's no reason."

The boss, Wally and Dilbert are in a meeting and the boss says to them: "Our strategy is a huge mistake but we have to do it anyway."

Dilbert is holding a suitcase and says to Dogbert: "After I fall asleep tonight, please smother me with a pillow."

The CEO is sitting at his desk and thinks: "My people love me because I manage with data."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CEO SAYS.

THE RESEARCH SUPPORTS MY STRATEGY.

YOU CAN READ THE RESEARCH BUT DON'T MAKE COPIES.

SENIOR VP SAYS.

I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT IT BUT YOU CAN'T READ IT.

VP SAYS. .

I DON'T REMEMBER THE REASON BUT I'M SURE THERE IS ONE.

ASSISTANT VP SAYS THERE'S NO REASON.

OUR STRATEGY IS A HUGE MISTAKE BUT WE HAVE TO DO IT ANYWAY.

AFTER I FALL ASLEEP TONIGHT, PLEASE SMOTHER ME WITH A PILLOW.

MY PEOPLE LOVE ME BECAUSE I MANAGE WITH DATA.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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