Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 9th January 2000

Dilbert//3921, first published 26 years ago on Sunday 9th January 2000

Tags

added up columns grocery list marketing starategy pros and cons quantified unhealthy

Official transcript

Ted, Dilbert, Alice and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Ted says: "I quantified our marketing strategy because you insisted."

Ted holds up a sheet of paper with lists on it and says: "I listed the pros and cons on this sheet."

Ted says to Dilbert: "Then I added up the columns."

Ted puts the sheet of paper on the table and says: "The pros outnumber the cons, so we're going forward."

Dilbert has the sheet of paper in his hands now and says to Ted: "Let's see. Your cons include...unhealthy and unprofitable. Dilbert keeps reading from the sheet of paper and says: "Your pros are...waffles, eggs, bananas and milk."

Ted says to Dilbert: "Oops. That might be my grocery list."

Ted gets angry and shakes his arm with the sheet of paper up and down and screams to Dilbert: "You fool! I told you quantification never works!!"

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I QUANTIFIED OUR MARKETING STRATEGY BECAUSE YOU INSISTED.

I LISTED THE PROS AND CONS ON THIS SHEET.

THEN I ADDED UP THE COLUMNS.

THE PROS OUTNUMBER THE CONS, SO WE'RE GOING FORWARD.

LET'S SEE. YOUR CONS INCLUDE...

UNHEALTHY AND UNPROFITABLE.

YOUR PROS ARE.. WAFFLES, EGGS, BANANAS AND MILK.

OOPS.

THAT MIGHT BE MY GROCERY LIST.

YOU FOOL! I TOLD YOU QUANTIFICATION NEVER WORKS!!

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.