Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 26th November 2000

Dilbert//4243, first published 26 years ago on Sunday 26th November 2000

Tags

pet project isn't feasible working numebrs underlying reality massaged the numbers working numbers impossiblepossible new numbers other ideas fiddle with numbers

Official transcript

Dilbert, putting a paper on The Boss' desk, says to The Boss, "My analysis shows that your pet project isn't feasible."

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Try working the numbers."

Dilbert says, "That wouldn't change the underlying reality."

The Boss asks, "What if we massaged the numbers?"

Dilbert says, "Massaging the numbers means the same thing as working the numbers."

Dilbert says to The Boss, "You can't make the impossible possible by hallucinating new numbers."

Dilbert asks The Boss, "Do you have any other ideas?"

The Boss says to Dilbert, "That depends on the the phrase 'fiddle with the numbers' means."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

MY ANALYSIS SHOWS THAT YOUR PET PROJECT ISN'T FEASIBLE.

TRY WORKING THE NUMBERS.

THAT WOULDN'T CHANGE THE UNDERLYING REALITY.

WHAT IF WE MASSAGED THE NUMBERS?

MASSAGING THE NUMBERS MEANS THE SAME THING AS WORKING THE NUMBERS.

YOU CAN'T MAKE THE IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE BY HALLUCINATING NEW NUMBERS.

DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS?

THAT DEPENDS ON WHAT THE PHRASE "FIDDLE WITH THE NUMBERS" MEANS.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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