Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 24th February 2002

Dilbert//4698, first published 24 years ago on Sunday 24th February 2002

Tags

god of management time insatiable appetite kronos manipulate perception month plenty of time states reprts upgrade servers side effects

Official transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Upgrade all of our network servers by Tuesday."

Dilbert responds, "That's impossible. I need at least a month."

The Boss replies, "Oh, it's impossible. Watch this."

The Boss yells, "I summon Kronos, The God of Management Time!!"

A man in a pink suit and hat comes and says, "I, Kronos, will manipulate your perception of time."

Kronos hits The Boss on the head with his wand. Dilbert responds, "I don't see how that helps..."

Kronos explains, "When he wakes up he will believe there is plenty of time and that you are a weasel."

Dilbert asks, "Any side effects?"

Kronos replies, "Just an insatiable appetite for status reports."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

UPGRADE ALL OF OUR NETWORK SERVERS BY TUESDAY.

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

I NEED AT LEAST A MONTH.

OH, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE, IS IT? WATCH THIS.

I SUMMON KRONOS, THE GOD OF MANAGE- I, KRONOS, WILL MANIPULATE YOUR PERCEPTION OF TIME.

I DON'T SEE HOW THAT HELPS...

WHEN HE WAKES UP HE WILL BELIEVE THERE IS PLENTY OF TIME AND THAT YOU ARE A WEASEL.

MENT TIME!!

ANY SIDE EFFECTS?

JUST AN INSATIABLE APPETITE FOR STATUS REPORTS.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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