Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 26th May 2002

Dilbert//4789, first published 24 years ago on Sunday 26th May 2002

Tags

competitor better job employment agreement knowledge or skills crazy clamp suck took away verbal skills golf ball head

Official transcript

An employee says to The Boss, "I quit. I got a better job with our competitor."

The Boss responds, "Okay, but remember the employment agreement you signed."

The Boss continues, "You agreed to not take away knowledge or skills you acquired at this job."

The employee replies, "That's crazy. How can I stop knowing what I learned?"

Catbert enters and says, "Come with me."

There is a huge contraption with a suction cup. The employee looks up at it and asks, "Will this hurt?"

Catbert responds, "I hope so."

The machine clamps on the employee's head and makes the sounds, "Suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck."

Catbert is working the controls. He says, "Ha ha!! I got your technical knowledge! And there go your verbal skills!"

The employee has nothing left but a tiny ball for a head. He says, "Great. Now what do I do?"

Catbert responds, "I'd stay away from the golf course."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I QUIT. I GOT A BETTER JOB WITH OUR COMPETITOR.

OKAY, BUT REMEMBER THE EMPLOYMENT AGREEMENT YOU SIGNED.

YOU AGREED TO NOT TAKE AWAY KNOWLEDGE OR SKILLS YOU ACQUIRED AT THAT'S CRAZY. HOW CAN I STOP KNOWING WHAT I LEARNED?!

COME WILL THIS HURT?

I HOPE SO.

CLAMP SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK THIS JOB.

HA HA!! I GOT YOUR TECHNICAL KNOWLEDGE! AND THERE GO YOUR VERBAL SKILLS!

GREAT.

NOW WHAT DO I DO?

WeIM ME.

I'D STAY AWAY FROM THE GOLF COURSE.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.