Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 27th October 2002

Dilbert//4943, first published 24 years ago on Sunday 27th October 2002

Tags

epic year unethical behavior rebarnding hired dogcart consulting small improvements rename company stinking weasel slogan steal rob corruption hiring pirate diseased parrot

Official transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Thanks to an epic year of unethical behavior..."

The Boss continues, "We need to do some rebranding so that no one knows who we are."

The Boss points to Dogbert and continues, "I hired the Dogbert Consulting Company to help."

Dogbert says, "You can't fix your image all at once. I recommend starting with small improvements."

Dogbert continues, "First, rename the company to Stinkingweasels Inc."

Dogbert continues, "The new slogan will be 'We steal in ways you've never even heard of.'"

Dogbert turns to The Boss and says, "For your spokesperson, I recommend hiring a pirate with a diseased parrot."

The Boss is holding a bag of money. He says to the pirate, "No?"

The pirate responds, "We have standards."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

THANKS TO AN EPIC YEAR OF UNETHICAL BEHAVIOR..

WE NEED TO DO SOME REBRANDING SO THAT NO ONE KNOWS WHO WE ARE.

I HIRED THE DOGBERT CONSULTING COMPANY TO HELP.

YOU CAN'T FIX YOUR IMAGE ALL AT ONCE I RECOMMEND STARTING WITH SMALL IMPROVEMENTS.

FIRST, RENAME THE COMPANY TO STINKINGWEASELS INC THE NEW SLOGAN WILL BE "WE STEAL IN WAYS YOU'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF." FOR YOUR SPOKESPERSON, I RECOMMEND HIRING A PIRATE WITH A DISEASED PARROT.

NO?

WE HAVE STANDARDS.

COUGH

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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