Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 12th January 2003

Dilbert//5020, first published 23 years ago on Sunday 12th January 2003

Tags

evil great idea ignorant and worthless manage budgets poorly conceived project managers pummel with fists

Official transcript

Asok enters The Boss' office and says, "I thought of a great idea."

Asok continues, "You could let the project managers manage their own budgets... What?"

Asok starts to look scared. He says, "You're giving me a look. I must try to guess what it means."

Asok continues, "We don't do things that way? If it were a good idea you'd already be doing it?"

Asok clutches his tie in fear and continues, "My ideas are poorly conceived?! I can't see the big picture?"

Asok jumps back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I am ignorant and worthless!!"

Asok punches himself in the face and exclaims, "I must pummel myself with my own tiny fists!!"

He cries, "Ow! Ow!"

Afterwards, The Boss says to Catbert, "They're kinda self-managed now."

Catbert responds, "Very evil: I purr in your general direction."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I THOUGHT OF A GREAT IDEA.

YOU COULD LET THE PROJECT MANAGERS MANAGE THEIR OWN BUDGETS...WHAT?

YOU'RE GIVING ME A LOOK. I MUST TRY TO GUESS WHAT IT MEANS.

WE DON'T DO THINGS THAT WAY? IF IT WERE A GOOD IDEA YOU'D ALREADY BE DOING IT?

MY IDEAS ARE POORLY CONCEIVED?! I CAN'T SEE THE BIG PICTURE?!

GAAA!!! I AM IGNORANT AND WORTHLESS!!

I MUST PUMMEL MYSELF WITH MY OWN TINY FISTS!!

ow!

Ow!

THEY'RE KINDA SELF- MANAGED NOW.

VERY EVIL: I PURR IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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