Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 11th May 2003

Dilbert//5139, first published 23 years ago on Sunday 11th May 2003

Tags

eye contact unpackageable generous severence volunteers retired bliss cruel twist fate keep job organic vessel self pity fishing sports

Official transcript

Asok and Dilbert are walking down the hall. Dilbert warns, "Uh-oh... don't make eye contact with that guy."

Asok asks, "Why not?"

Dilbert explains, "Ernie is unpackageable."

Dilbert continues, "Last year, the company offered a generous severance package to people who volunteered to leave."

Dilbert continues, "Ernie volunteered. He imagined a life of retired bliss outside this company."

Dilbert continues, "But too many people volunteered. In a cruel twist of fate, Ernie was forced to keep his job."

Dilbert continues, "Now he's nothing but an organic vessel for transporting self- pity."

Ernie runs up to Asok and Dilbert and cries, "I could have been fishing!!! Waaa!!!"

Alice, Asok, and Dilbert are sitting together. Asok's hair is standing straight up and he still has a panicked expression on his face. Alice asks, "You looked?"

Dilbert responds, "I tried to warn him."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

UH-OH... DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THAT GUY.

ERNIE IS AN UNPACKAGEABLE.

LAST YEAR, THE COMPANY OFFERED A GENEROUS SEVERANCE PACKAGE TO PEOPLE WHO VOLUNTEERED TO LEAVE.

ERNIE VOLUNTEERED.

HE IMAGINED A LIFE OF RETIRED BLISS OUTSIDE THIS COMPANY.

WHT NOT?

BUT TOO MANY PEOPLE VOLUNTEERED IN A CRUEL TWIST OF FATE, ERNIE WAS FORCED TO KEEP HIS JOB.

NOW HE'S NOTHING BUT AN ORGANIC VESSEL FOR TRANSPORTING SELF-PITY I COULD HAVE BEEN FISHING!!!

WAAA!!!

YOU LOOKED?

I TRIED TO WARN HIM.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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