Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 8th June 2003

Dilbert//5167, first published 23 years ago on Sunday 8th June 2003

Tags

career counseling hear myself talk roll their eyes nod and smaile babble punish people management aptitude test

Official transcript

Headline: Career Counseling. Dilbert sits across from a client. The client says, "I love to hear myself talk."

The client continues, "But I don't like it when people roll their eyes and go 'phhht.'"

The client continues, "I'd like a job where people are forced to nod and smile while I babble."

The client adds, "And I'd like to punish people for my own mistakes."

Dogbert says, "I recommend a career in management."

Dogbert continues, "Just to be sure, I'm going to give you a management aptitude test."

The client replies, "Hey, I have an idea. Maybe I should pursue a career in management!"

Dogbert says, "Congratulations! You just passed the management aptitude test."

The client exclaims, "Yes!"

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CAREER COUNSELING I LOVE TO HEAR MYSELF TALK.

BUT I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE ROLL THEIR EYES AND GO "PHHHT." I'D LIKE A JOB WHERE PEOPLE ARE FORCED TO NOD AND SMILE WHILE I BABBLE.

AND I'D LIKE TO PUNISH PEOPLE FOR MY OWN MISTAKES.

I RECOMMEND A CAREER IN MANAGEMENT.

JUST TO BE SURE, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A MANAGEMENT APTITUDE TEST.

HEY, I HAVE AN IDEA. MAYBE I SHOULD PURSUE A CAREER IN MANAGEMENT!

CONGRATULATIONS!

YOU JUST PASSED THE MANAGEMENT APTITUDE TEST.

YES!

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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