Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 16th May 2004

Dilbert//5510, first published 22 years ago on Sunday 16th May 2004

Tags

celebrity business plan commit crime hire lawyer reality tv show gain weight tabloids spokesperson weight loss product write children book rehab addicted to painkillers plan future plans goals sensationalism

Official transcript

"Would you review my celebrity business plan?"

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

WOULD YOU REVIEW MY CELEBRITY BUSINESS PLAN?

SURE FIRST, I'LL COMMIT A SENSATIONAL CRIME THAT THE MEDIA CAN'T IGNORE.

THEN I'LL HIRE CELEBRITY LAWYER JOHNNY "RED" GALIPIGOS TO HELP ME BEAT THE RAP.

I'LL USE MY FAME TO LAND A PART ON A REALITY TV SHOW WHERE I WILL WIN BY CHEATING.

THEN I'LL GAIN A MASSIVE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT SO THE TABLOIDS WILL FIXATE ON ME.

BURPO THEN I'LL BECOME A SPOKESPERSON FOR A WEIGHT LOSS PRODUCT.

IT WORKS!

LASTLY, I'LL WRITE CHILDREN'S BOOKS.

WHAT A BOUT REHAB?

GOOD CATCH. I TOTALLY FORGOT THE PART WHERE I GET ADDICTED TO PAINKILLERS.

OTHERWISE.

IT LOOKS GOOD.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.