Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 24th September 2006
Dilbert//6371, first published twenty years ago on Sunday 24th September 2006
Official transcript
"Welcome to Dogbert's school of management."
"In today's lesson you will learn how to get your employees to do the impossible."
"I have issued to each of you one large rock for practice."
"Throw your rock in the air and demand that it stay there without falling."
"Offer some non-monetary compensation to your rock to incent it."
"If your rock refuses to comply, try yelling at it. Go."
bonk! - "OW!"
bonk! - "OW!"
bonk! - "OW!"
bonk! - "OW!"
bonk! - "OW!"
bonk! - "OW!"
"For those of you who stood directly below your rock, congratulations. Pick up your diploma on the way out."
originally published on dilbert.com
Open source transcript
WELCOME TO DOGBERT'S SCHOOL OF MANAGEMENT.
IN TODAY'S LESSON YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO GET YOUR EMPLOYEES TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE.
I HAVE ISSUED TO EACH OF YOU ONE LARGE ROCK FOR PRACTICE.
THROW YOUR ROCK IN THE AIR AND DEMAND THAT IT STAY THERE WITHOUT FALLING.
OFFER SOME NON- MONETARY COMPENSATION TO YOUR ROCK TO INCENT IT.
IF YOUR ROCK REFUSES TO COMPLY, TRY YELLING AT IT.
BONK! - OW!
BONK! - OW!
BONK! - Ow!
BONK! - OW!
BONK! - OW!
BONK! - OW!
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO STOOD DIRECTLY BELOW YOUR ROCK, CONGRATULATIONS. PICK UP YOUR DIPLOMA ON THE WAY OUT.
collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive
AI Analysis
Comic Strip Title: "The Impossible Task"
Summary:
This 'Dilbert' comic strip, originally published in 2006, features Dilbert, a white office worker with a bald head and a goatee, who is tasked with an impossible job by his boss, Dogbert. The strip consists of eight panels, each depicting a different scene.
Panel 1: Introduction
- The comic strip begins with a welcome message from Dogbert's School of Management.
- Dogbert introduces himself as the instructor and explains that he will teach the employees how to do the impossible.
Panel 2: The Task
- Dogbert issues a task to each employee: throw their rock into the air and demand that it stay there without falling.
- The employees are confused and skeptical about the task.
Panel 3: The Demand
- Dogbert demands that the employees throw their rocks into the air and stay there without falling.
- The employees are hesitant but eventually comply with the demand.
Panel 4: The Outcome
- The employees throw their rocks into the air, but they immediately fall back down.
- Dogbert is disappointed but not surprised by the outcome.
Panel 5: The Lesson
- Dogbert explains that the task was impossible and that the employees should have known better.
- He offers some non-monetary compensation to the employees who stood directly below their rocks.
Panel 6: The Compensation
- The employees who stood directly below their rocks receive their compensation.
- They are happy and relieved that the task is over.
Panel 7: The Conclusion
- Dogbert congratulates the employees on completing the task and picks up their diplomas.
- The employees are proud of themselves for completing the impossible task.
Panel 8: The Final Thought
- The comic strip ends with a final thought from Dogbert: "For those of you who stood directly below your rock, congratulations. Pick up your diploma on the way out."
Overall, the comic strip pokes fun at the idea of impossible tasks and the absurdity of management expectations. It highlights the importance of critical thinking and the need for employees to question their tasks and demands.
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