Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 24th September 2006

Dilbert//6371, first published twenty years ago on Sunday 24th September 2006

Official transcript

"Welcome to Dogbert's school of management."

"In today's lesson you will learn how to get your employees to do the impossible."

"I have issued to each of you one large rock for practice."

"Throw your rock in the air and demand that it stay there without falling."

"Offer some non-monetary compensation to your rock to incent it."

"If your rock refuses to comply, try yelling at it. Go."

bonk! - "OW!"

bonk! - "OW!"

bonk! - "OW!"

bonk! - "OW!"

bonk! - "OW!"

bonk! - "OW!"

"For those of you who stood directly below your rock, congratulations. Pick up your diploma on the way out."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

WELCOME TO DOGBERT'S SCHOOL OF MANAGEMENT.

IN TODAY'S LESSON YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO GET YOUR EMPLOYEES TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE.

I HAVE ISSUED TO EACH OF YOU ONE LARGE ROCK FOR PRACTICE.

THROW YOUR ROCK IN THE AIR AND DEMAND THAT IT STAY THERE WITHOUT FALLING.

OFFER SOME NON- MONETARY COMPENSATION TO YOUR ROCK TO INCENT IT.

IF YOUR ROCK REFUSES TO COMPLY, TRY YELLING AT IT.

BONK! - OW!

BONK! - OW!

BONK! - Ow!

BONK! - OW!

BONK! - OW!

BONK! - OW!

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO STOOD DIRECTLY BELOW YOUR ROCK, CONGRATULATIONS. PICK UP YOUR DIPLOMA ON THE WAY OUT.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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