Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 11th March 2007

Dilbert//6539, first published nineteen years ago on Sunday 11th March 2007

Official transcript

"Every company needs goals."

GOALS "We have division goals, department goals, district goals, personal goals and affiliate goals."

"You will all attend a four-hour training session on how to write goals."

"Every week you will report on how you are doing compared to your goals."

"Those reports will be entered into a giant database."

"Won't the size and complexity of the database make it impossible to know what's really happening?"

"Yes. That's why your raises will be based on what you look like."

"Bummer for you."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

EVERY COMPANY NEEDS GOALS.

WE HAVE DIVISION GOALS, DEPARTMENT GOALS, DISTRICT GOALS, PERSONAL GOALS AND AFFILIATE GOALS.

YOU WILL ALL ATTEND A FOUR-HOUR TRAINING SESSION ON HOW TO WRITE GOALS.

EVERY WEEK YOU WILL REPORT ON HOW YOU ARE DOING COMPARED TO YOUR GOALS.

THOSE REPORTS WILL BE ENTERED INTO A GIANT DATABASE WON'T THE SIZE AND COMPLEXITY OF THE DATABASE MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING?

YES. THAT'S WHY YOUR RAISES WILL BE BASED ON WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.

BUMMER FOR YOU.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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