Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 11th March 2007

Dilbert//6539, first published nineteen years ago on Sunday 11th March 2007

Official transcript

"Every company needs goals."

GOALS "We have division goals, department goals, district goals, personal goals and affiliate goals."

"You will all attend a four-hour training session on how to write goals."

"Every week you will report on how you are doing compared to your goals."

"Those reports will be entered into a giant database."

"Won't the size and complexity of the database make it impossible to know what's really happening?"

"Yes. That's why your raises will be based on what you look like."

"Bummer for you."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

EVERY COMPANY NEEDS GOALS.

WE HAVE DIVISION GOALS, DEPARTMENT GOALS, DISTRICT GOALS, PERSONAL GOALS AND AFFILIATE GOALS.

YOU WILL ALL ATTEND A FOUR-HOUR TRAINING SESSION ON HOW TO WRITE GOALS.

EVERY WEEK YOU WILL REPORT ON HOW YOU ARE DOING COMPARED TO YOUR GOALS.

THOSE REPORTS WILL BE ENTERED INTO A GIANT DATABASE WON'T THE SIZE AND COMPLEXITY OF THE DATABASE MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING?

YES. THAT'S WHY YOUR RAISES WILL BE BASED ON WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.

BUMMER FOR YOU.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "The Art of Goal Setting"

Summary:

The comic strip follows the misadventures of Dilbert, a bespectacled office worker, as he navigates the absurdities of corporate goal-setting. The strip begins with a company-wide announcement that every employee must set goals, which are then entered into a giant database. However, when Dilbert inquires about the size and complexity of the database, he is met with a dismissive response.

As the strip progresses, Dilbert's frustration grows as he is forced to attend a four-hour training session on writing goals. He is then told that his raises will be based on what he looks like, leading to a humorous exchange with his coworker, Wally.

The strip concludes with Dilbert's sarcastic remark, "Bummer for you," as he is left to ponder the illogical nature of the company's goal-setting process. Throughout the strip, Dilbert's deadpan reactions and witty one-liners provide comedic relief, making "The Art of Goal Setting" a relatable and entertaining commentary on the quirks of corporate culture.

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