Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 21st December 2008

Dilbert//7190, first published eighteen years ago on Sunday 21st December 2008

Tags

agreement areas of expertise business units confusion consolidate shared services diagnostic review evil director from centers invoice meeting presentation business

Official transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources man says, "My consultants can transform human resources."

man says, "We'll start with a diagnostic review."

man says, "Then you'll form centers of excellence around areas of expertise."

man says, "Next, you'll consolidate shared services and drive continuous improvement."

man says, "Business units will translate operational imperatives into HR actions. Catbert says, "Does any of that mean the same as firing idiots and cutting the budget?"

man says, "Which answer gets us hired?"

Catbert says, "Try yes."

Man says, "Yes!"

Catbert says, "Great. Put a bow on it and send me the invoice."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CATBERT: EVIL DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES MY CONSULTANTS CAN TRANSFORM HUMAN RESOURCES.

WELL START WITH A DIAGNOSTIC REVIEW.

THEN YOULL FORM CENTERS OF EXCELLENCE AROUND AREAS OF EXPERTISE.

NEXT, YOULL CONSOLIDATE SHARED SERVICES AND DRIVE CONTINUOUS IMPROVEMENT.

BUSINESS UNITS WILL TRANSLATE OPERATIONAL IMPERATIVES INTO HR ACTIONS.

DOES ANY OF THAT MEAN THE SAME AS FIRING IDIOTS AND CUTTING THE BUDGET?

WHICH ANSWER GETS US HIRED?

TRY YES.

GREAT.

PUT A BOW ON IT AND SEND ME THE INVOICE.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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