Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 12th April 2009

Dilbert//7302, first published seventeen years ago on Sunday 12th April 2009

Tags

money investing con violence lying

Official transcript

Man says, "I'm thinking of investing in the Dogbert hedge fund."

Man says, "Can you explain how it works?"

Dogbert says, "It's simple I take your money and then use math to turn it into my money while destroying the overall economy."

Man says, "Is that legal?"

Dogbert says, "More so than you'd think."

Man says, "What's in it for me?"

Dogbert says, "My inflated claims will give you false hope."

Dogbert says, "That way you won't stress out until after you retire and discover you're penniless."

Man says, "But I..."

Bonk! Ugh! Man says, "I don't remember the last five minutes."

Dogbert says, "I was telling you that my hedge fund will earn you 520% per year."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I'M THINKING OF INVESTING IN THE DOGBERT HEDGE FUND.

CAN YOU EXPLAIN HOW IT WORKS?

IT'S SIMPLE.

I TAKE YOUR MONEY AND THEN USE MATH TO TURN IT INTO MY MONEY WHILE DESTROY- THIC TUE ALED AITI IS THAT LEGAL?

MORE SO THAN YOU'D WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?

MY INFLATED CLAIMS WILL GIVE YOU FALSE HOPE.

THAT WAY YOU WON'T STRESS OUT UNTIL AFTER YOU RETIRE AND DISCOVER YOU'RE PENNILESS.

BUT ECONOMY.

BONKI UNG!

I DON'T REMEMBER THE LAST FIVE MINUTES.

IMINA.

I WAS TELLING YOU THAT MY HEDGE FUND WILL EARN YOU 520% PER YEAR.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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