Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 12th April 2009
Dilbert//7302, first published seventeen years ago on Sunday 12th April 2009
Tags
money investing con violence lying
Official transcript
Man says, "I'm thinking of investing in the Dogbert hedge fund."
Man says, "Can you explain how it works?"
Dogbert says, "It's simple I take your money and then use math to turn it into my money while destroying the overall economy."
Man says, "Is that legal?"
Dogbert says, "More so than you'd think."
Man says, "What's in it for me?"
Dogbert says, "My inflated claims will give you false hope."
Dogbert says, "That way you won't stress out until after you retire and discover you're penniless."
Man says, "But I..."
Bonk! Ugh! Man says, "I don't remember the last five minutes."
Dogbert says, "I was telling you that my hedge fund will earn you 520% per year."
originally published on dilbert.com
Open source transcript
I'M THINKING OF INVESTING IN THE DOGBERT HEDGE FUND.
CAN YOU EXPLAIN HOW IT WORKS?
IT'S SIMPLE.
I TAKE YOUR MONEY AND THEN USE MATH TO TURN IT INTO MY MONEY WHILE DESTROY- THIC TUE ALED AITI IS THAT LEGAL?
MORE SO THAN YOU'D WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
MY INFLATED CLAIMS WILL GIVE YOU FALSE HOPE.
THAT WAY YOU WON'T STRESS OUT UNTIL AFTER YOU RETIRE AND DISCOVER YOU'RE PENNILESS.
BUT ECONOMY.
BONKI UNG!
I DON'T REMEMBER THE LAST FIVE MINUTES.
IMINA.
I WAS TELLING YOU THAT MY HEDGE FUND WILL EARN YOU 520% PER YEAR.
collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive
AI Analysis
Comic Strip Title: "Hedge Fund"
Summary:
The comic strip features Dilbert, a bespectacled engineer, and Dogbert, his dog and nemesis, in a conversation about investing in a hedge fund. The conversation begins with Dilbert expressing interest in investing in the Dogbert Hedge Fund, which promises a 520% annual return. Dogbert explains that the fund works by taking money from investors and using math to turn it into more money, while destroying the overall economy.
Dilbert is skeptical but decides to invest anyway. However, he soon realizes that he has made a mistake when he receives a call from Dogbert, who tells him that his inflated claims will give him false hope. Dogbert then reveals that the hedge fund will earn him 520% per year, but only for five minutes, after which he will be penniless.
The comic strip ends with Dilbert's shock and dismay at being taken advantage of by Dogbert's clever scheme.
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