Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 2nd August 2009

Dilbert//7414, first published seventeen years ago on Sunday 2nd August 2009

Tags

sitting meeting award incentive contradiction unimportant ridiculous business

Official transcript

The boss says, "I want you three to put together a teamwork award program."

Wally says, "If we do a good job, can we give ourselves the award?"

The boss says, "No."

Alice says, "Great. Now I have no incentive to do a good job on this award thing."

The boss says, "Keeping your job should be all the incentive you need."

Dilbert says, "Then why does anyone need a teamwork award?"

Wally says, "Let's just slap something together and randomly nominate people."

Asok says, "I got a teamwork award and yet I feel no different."

Dilbert says, "Yup."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I WANT YOU THREE TO PUT TOGETHER A TEAMWORK AWARD PROGRAM.

IF WE DO A GOOD JOB, CAN WE GIVE OURSELVES THE AWARD? GREAT. NOW I HAVE NO INCENTIVE TO DO A GOOD JOB ON THIS AWARD THING.

KEEPING YOUR JOB SHOULD BE ALL THE INCENTIVE YOU NEED.

THEN WHY DOES ANYONE NEED A TEAMWORK AWARD?

LET'S JUST SLAP SOMETHING TOGETHER AND RANDOMLY NOMINATE PEOPLE.

I GOT A TEAMWORK AWARD AND YET I FEEL NO DIFFERENT.

YUP.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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