Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 15th November 2009

Dilbert//7519, first published seventeen years ago on Sunday 15th November 2009

Tags

customer hands refusal ridicule criticism germs angry

Official transcript

The boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to meet one of our biggest customers. She has some technical questions."

Dilbert says, "Whoa! Get that disease-infested paw away from me!"

Dilbert says, "Don't you follow the news? Shaking hands is so 2008."

Dilbert says, "No offense, but you look more like a virus incubator than a vigorous hand washer."

Dilbert says, "So why don't you pull that death stick back up your sleeve and we can pretend this ugly incident never happened."

Dilbert says, "And if it's not too much to ask, could you exhale toward things I'm likely not to touch?"

Dilbert says, "Okay, now that the pleasantries are out of the way, what can I tell you about our new product line?"

Dilbert says, "We lost a customer, but I survived the meeting."

The Boss says, "Next time, do it the other way."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET ONE OF OUR BIGGEST CUSTOMERS. SHE HAS SOME TECHNICAL AI ICCTTANIC WHOA! GET THAT DISEASE-INFESTED PAW AWAY FROM ME!

DON'T YOU FOLLOW THE NEWS? SHAKING HANDS IS SO 2008.

NO OFFENSE, BUT YOU LOOK MORE LIKE A VIRUS INCUBATOR THAN A VIGOROUS HAND WASHER.

SO WHY DON'T YOU PULL THAT DEATH STICK BACK UP YOUR SLEEVE AND WE CAN PRETEND THIS UGLY INCIDENT NEVER HAPPENED.

AND IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK, COULD YOU EXHALE TOWARD THINGS I'M UNLIKELY TO TOUCH?

OKAY, NOW THAT THE PLEASANTRIES ARE OUT I TELE YAY ABOUT OUR NEW PRODUCT LINE?

WE LOST A CUSTOMER, BUT I SURVIVED THE MEETING.

NEXT TIME, DO IT THE OTHER WAY.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "The Virus Incubator"

Summary:

The comic strip revolves around a meeting between Dilbert and his boss, who is concerned about the spread of disease in the office. The boss asks Dilbert to meet one of their biggest customers, who has some technical questions. Dilbert is hesitant, citing the risk of infection, but the boss insists that he must follow the news and shaking hands is so 2008.

As they approach the customer, Dilbert notices that she is not wearing a mask and has a cough. He tries to pull away, but the boss tells him to ask her to exhale toward him. Dilbert is uncomfortable with this request, but the boss assures him that it's not too much to ask.

The customer reveals that she has lost a customer due to her poor hygiene and has survived a meeting. She asks Dilbert about their new product line, which he is uninterested in discussing. The boss encourages him to tell her, but Dilbert is hesitant.

In the end, Dilbert decides to pull the death stick back up his sleeve and pretend the incident never happened. The boss is disappointed, but Dilbert is relieved to have avoided the risk of infection.

Key Points:

• The comic strip is set in an office environment where disease is a concern.
• Dilbert is hesitant to meet with the customer due to the risk of infection.
• The boss is dismissive of Dilbert's concerns and encourages him to follow the news and shake hands.
• The customer is not wearing a mask and has a cough, but the boss tells Dilbert to ask her to exhale toward him.
• Dilbert is uncomfortable with this request and is hesitant to discuss the new product line.
• In the end, Dilbert decides to pull the death stick back up his sleeve and pretend the incident never happened.

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