Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 15th November 2009

Dilbert//7519, first published seventeen years ago on Sunday 15th November 2009

Tags

customer hands refusal ridicule criticism germs angry

Official transcript

The boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to meet one of our biggest customers. She has some technical questions."

Dilbert says, "Whoa! Get that disease-infested paw away from me!"

Dilbert says, "Don't you follow the news? Shaking hands is so 2008."

Dilbert says, "No offense, but you look more like a virus incubator than a vigorous hand washer."

Dilbert says, "So why don't you pull that death stick back up your sleeve and we can pretend this ugly incident never happened."

Dilbert says, "And if it's not too much to ask, could you exhale toward things I'm likely not to touch?"

Dilbert says, "Okay, now that the pleasantries are out of the way, what can I tell you about our new product line?"

Dilbert says, "We lost a customer, but I survived the meeting."

The Boss says, "Next time, do it the other way."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET ONE OF OUR BIGGEST CUSTOMERS. SHE HAS SOME TECHNICAL AI ICCTTANIC WHOA! GET THAT DISEASE-INFESTED PAW AWAY FROM ME!

DON'T YOU FOLLOW THE NEWS? SHAKING HANDS IS SO 2008.

NO OFFENSE, BUT YOU LOOK MORE LIKE A VIRUS INCUBATOR THAN A VIGOROUS HAND WASHER.

SO WHY DON'T YOU PULL THAT DEATH STICK BACK UP YOUR SLEEVE AND WE CAN PRETEND THIS UGLY INCIDENT NEVER HAPPENED.

AND IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK, COULD YOU EXHALE TOWARD THINGS I'M UNLIKELY TO TOUCH?

OKAY, NOW THAT THE PLEASANTRIES ARE OUT I TELE YAY ABOUT OUR NEW PRODUCT LINE?

WE LOST A CUSTOMER, BUT I SURVIVED THE MEETING.

NEXT TIME, DO IT THE OTHER WAY.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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