Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 24th January 2010

Dilbert//7589, first published sixteen years ago on Sunday 24th January 2010

Tags

meeting sitting frustrated value useful ceo business

Official transcript

The Boss says, ?Our CEO asked each manager to describe his group's function on one slide.? The Boss says, ?I don't see how I can fit all of our various functions on one powerpoint slide.? Dilbert says, ?You could say, 'we spend all of our time trying to convince others that we have value.'? The Boss says, ?That's not all we do.? Alice says, ?Sometimes we also argue about what we do.? The Boss says, ?That's just what we're doing right now. Tomorrow we'll be doing something totally useful.? Dilbert says, ?Maybe you could add a footnote to the slide that says, 'we dream of someday being productive.'? Dilbert says, ?Or you could exaggerate our accomplishments to create a misleading sense of our potential.? The Boss says, ?Yes!? The Boss says, ?What have we accomplished lately?? Wally says, ?We got paid for planning to lie to our CEO.?

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

OUR CEO ASKED EACH MANAGER TO DESCRIBE HIS GROUP'S FUNCTION ON ONE SLIDE.

I DON'T SEE HOW I CAN FIT ALL OF OUR VARIOUS FUNCTIONS ON ONE POWERPOINT SLIDE.

YOU COULD SAY, "WE SPEND ALL OF OUR TIME TRYING TO CONVINCE OTHERS THAT WE HAVE VALUE." THAT'S NOT ALL WE DO.

SOMETIMES WE ALSO ARGUE ABOUT WHAT WE DO.

THAT'S JUST WHAT WE'RE DOING RIGHT NOW. TOMORROW WE'LL BE DOING SOMETHING TOTALLY USEFUL.

MAYBE YOU COULD ADD A FOOTNOTE TO THE SLIDE THAT SAYS "WE DREAM OF SOMEDAY BEING PRODUCTIVE." OR YOU COULD EXAGGERATE OUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS TO CREATE A MISLEADING SENSE OF OUR POTENTIAL.

'ES!

WHAT HAVE WE ACCOMP LISHED LATELY?

WE GOT PAID FOR PLANNING TO LIE TO OUR CEO.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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