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Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 30th May 2010

Dilbert//7715, first published sixteen years ago on Sunday 30th May 2010


Tags

meeting certification lazy lie plan b yell passionate defense argument scare wide eyes point shake finger apology business


Official transcript

Wally says, "I accomplished nothing this week because I was going through certification."

Wally thinks, "Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask."

The Boss says, "Certification for? what?"

Wally thinks, "Plan B: Mount a passionate defense against an argument that no one made."

Wally says, "How can you say that certification is a waste of time?!"

Wally says, "Without certification, management would be reduced to randomness!"

Wally says, "Do you think you'd be happier just guessing who is qualified to do what? Do you? Do you?"

The Boss says, "There's something wrong with you."

Wally says, "Apology accepted. Next."

originally published on dilbert.com


Open source transcript

I ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING THIS WEEK BECAUSE I WAS GOING THROUGH CERTIFICATION.

DILBERT SCOTT ADAMS dilbert.com DON'T ASK.

DON'T ASK.

DON'T ASK.

FOR. CHATON FOR... WHAT?

PLAN B: MOUNT A PASSIONATE DEFENSE AGAINST AN ARGUMENT THAT NO ONE MADE.

HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT CERTIFICATION IS A WASTE OF TIME?!

WITHOUT CERTIFICATION, MANAGEMENT WOULD BE REDUCED TO RANDOMNESS!

DO YOU THINK YOU'D BE HAPPIER JUST GUESSING WHO IS QUALIFIED TO DO WHAT? DO YOU?

DO YOU?

THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.

APOLOGY ACCEPTED (NEXT.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive


AI Analysis

Title: "Certification"

Summary:

The comic strip, originally published in 2010, revolves around a conversation between a manager and his employees about certification. The manager, who has just achieved something through certification, is asked by his employees how they can accomplish the same. However, he responds that he accomplished nothing because he was going through certification, implying that the process itself was the goal rather than the outcome.

The employees then ask him to explain what certification is, but he becomes defensive and dismissive, saying that it's a waste of time and that management would be reduced to randomness without it. The employees are confused and ask if they're qualified to do what they do, but the manager becomes agitated and tells them there's something wrong with them. The conversation ends with the manager apologizing for his outburst, but not providing any further clarification.

Overall, the comic strip highlights the absurdity of the certification process and the frustration it can cause for employees who feel undervalued and unappreciated.

generated by llama-3.2-11b-vision-instruct


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