Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 27th June 2010

Dilbert//7743, first published sixteen years ago on Sunday 27th June 2010

Tags

computer help trap yell freak out hair stand up rant hug kill head in hands

Official transcript

Tina says, "I need help with my computer."

Dilbert says, "It's a trap!"

Dilbert says, "If I touch your computer, you'll think that every future problem is caused by something I did."

Dilbert says, "You'll tell everyone I ruined your computer!"

Dilbert says, "I'll be obligated to solve every computer problem you have from this day on."

Dilbert says, "My own projects will be left to wither as I show you for the ninethieth time how to select a new font."

Dilbert says, "If I refuse to help, you'll tell my boss I'm not a team play."

Tina says, "Do you need a hug?"

Dilbert says, "Only if you can squeeze hard enough to kill me."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I NEED HELP WITH MY COMPUTER.

DILBERTI SCOTT ADAMS dilbert.com IT'S A TRAP!

IF I TOUCH YOUR COMPUTER, YOULL THINK THAT EVERY FUTURE PROBLEM IS CAUSED BY SOMETHING I DID.

YOULL TELL EVERYONE I RUINED YOUR COMPUTER!

I'LL BE OBLIGATED TO SOLVE EVERY COMPUTER PROBLEM YOU HAVE FROM THIS DAY ON.

MY OWN PROJECTS WILL BE LEFT TO WITHER AS I SHOW YOU FOR THE NINETIETH TIME HOW TO SELECT A NEW FONT.

IF I REFUSE TO HELP, YOULL TELL MY BOSS I'M NOT A TEAM PLAYER.

DO YOU NEED A HUG?

ONLY IF YOU CAN SQUEEZE HARD ENOUGH TO KILL ME.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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